Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
