On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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