but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
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