i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
