By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
