I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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