ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
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