That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
she looked like the before picture.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Randomize
