census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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