idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
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