Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
