I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Randomize
