He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
The cops high fived after they tackled you
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
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