Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
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