I should be sponsored by Trojan
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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