In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
