no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
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