Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
