the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
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