just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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