so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
