so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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