i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
