im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
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