I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
