I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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