it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
