I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
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