do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
i think my cat just said my name.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
