i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Randomize
