wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
