So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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