whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
You ruined the universe
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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