Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
