What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Randomize
