btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
