whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
