I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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