i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
