But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Randomize
