You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
