I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
