so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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