whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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