I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Randomize
