I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Randomize
