you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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