I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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