i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
