I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
im six kinds of drunk right now
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Randomize
