Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
