he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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