Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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